Individuality isn’t something that we are keen on embracing while living in a world of constantly trying to ‘fit in,’ especially as a child.
When I moved to America, I tried very hard to rid myself of my Russian roots and become as “Americanized” as I possibly can.
I wanted to learn how to speak, dress, and act like all the kids I went to school with.
I needed to immerse myself entirely and rid myself of all things ‘Russian.’
I was successful in forgetting the language (unfortunately), but I couldn’t get rid of the one thing that automatically led to my identity; my NAME.
Not only was “Olya” not like a regular American name, but no one could pronounce it correctly either, which only made me more irritated. Until that is, I got used to it and learned to respond from a place of understanding and compassion.
I certainly wasn’t in a place to embrace my individuality with a goal to fit in, so I asked my dad if I could change my name. He said it wasn’t possible until I was 18, and that the process was rather ‘complicated and annoying.’ But I didn’t care; I was determined.
So I decided that at 18, I will officially change my name to “Sam.” I liked that it was neither a boys nor a girls name- it was just a cool name- and American.
Well, all was well until my dad decided to fall in love with a woman who had a daughter named Samantha — and those dreams were crushed pretty fast after they married.
It’s almost like the Universe KNEW I’d do something silly and actually CHANGE my name when I could, so it took the option away from ridding myself entirely of my former identity of being Russian. I couldn’t erase my individuality even if I tried.
The “Switcharoo”
I didn’t begin to LOVE my name until I went to college; until I fully recognized how unique and awesome it was. After all, no one even had my name, and that was cool.
As a kid, I tried SO hard to be a part of something bigger than myself. Because as a kid, you want to fit in, be accepted, and be part of another group like your own.
As an adult, you try to embrace your individuality and stand apart from others. However, my original identity always stayed with me. Being born and raised in a Russian orphanage was not something that I could just ‘erase’ from my storyline. Nor did I want to; it was a positive experience after all and contributed in making me the person I am today.
My parents also encouraged me to learn all about Russia, maybe even try to take up the language again and go back. (Which I did in college!)
But my point is this: The things that make you YOU are there for a reason. Embrace your individuality, no matter what it looks like. What we need is more individuality than clones of one another. These individualities are there to teach you SOMETHING about yourself. They are there to help you accept, love, and eventually- embrace yourself.
Overall, they are there to empower you. Unfortunately, that is something we often bypass because we want to cling to ‘belonging.’ If we look carefully at why we are looking to belong, we can address whether that’s a wounded action step or an empowering one (ie., finding our tribe.)
But I encourage you to challenge yourself. I encourage you to step into your truth; your power; your identity. I encourage you to look at what makes you- well, YOU- and how that CAN empower you.
Everything has a negative and a positive. But it’s up to YOU to choose which one you want to spend more time on.
Yes, I could have changed my name to something else at 18. But something about my name now gives me this incredible power that I can embrace and be proud of.
I’m proud of the story I’ve lived, of the experiences I’ve had. I’m proud of having been an orphan and then having to have grown up in an incredibly loving and supportive family. I’m proud of who I am, Russian and American and everything else.
I OWN who I am today because of the story I have lived. I OWN who I am today because that is my soul purpose; as it is yours.
Need a graphic design quote creator? Look no further, click here to read more!
Follow @positivitysparkles on IG for more quotes and stories!
